By your side
by Crystalscar
Summary: After recovering from injuries. Hitsugaya appears to have forgotten Matsumoto, Narumi told him that he was ready for duty. But what is the duty? What is the duty of Squad 0? And what is going to happen to Matsumoto?
1. Prologue

Note: This is a sequel to Squad 0. (:

* * *

Prologue

Sounds of knuckle hitting against the screen door echoed in the room.

"Come in." Hitsugaya answered.

"Hiya, Shirou-pyon!" Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched a little.

"My name have changed yet again…" He replied coldly, giving entirely up on correcting.

"How are you feeling today?" Ai asked and pulled out a lunch box.

Hitsugaya glanced at the surrounding, he's once again back in his bedroom. He had as a matter as a fact requested to be out of the sickbay the very day he woke up. When he approached Atsuko fukutaichou, the one in charge of him, to his surprise before he even managed to say anything, answered coldly, "You may leave if you wish."

His injuries wasn't as terrible as he originally thought was. His heart had been… well ripped out. By the time he woke up in the Defense Squad, Only a long scar was left on his chest and well, a couple of broke ribs. The next time he woke up, he was already in his bedroom and the broken bones was healed.

He gazed out the window. Now he's almost as healthy as before the torture, as if nothing had happened.

_Right… I think I should ask…_

"Ooi, Shirou-pyon." Narumi cried.

"4th seat Narumi."

"Yes? What's with you Shirou-pyon?" Narumi a little taken back.

"Do you still remember Sereitei?" Hitsugaya asked, his eyes dull.

"Yes, of course…" Narumi answered immediately.

"What about the people you know there?"

There was a moment of silence as Hitsugaya looked at Ai and Ai starred at the floor board.

She took a deep breath and replied, "No, I don't. What about you?"

Hitsugaya answered what he thought was safest, "No."

Then with a smile she said, "It seems like you're ready."

"Ready?" Hitsugaya cocked up his eyesbrow.

She stood and continued, "You're ready for duty."

* * *

Author' note: I apologize for the length. I hope you guys would enjoy it. (: Reviews are gold. (:


	2. Chapter 1

_I am told to just be myself, but as much as I have practiced the impression, I am still no good at it.__ -Robert Brault_

* * *

**Just the beginning**  
"I'm 3rd seat Hanabusa Rima from the defense department. I'll be guiding you for your duty." A girl with copper brown hair tied into a ponytail walked into the training grounds where they are supposed to meet, at 8 am sharp, the time when they are supposed to meet.

"Hai. 3rd seat Hanabusa. I'm Hitsugaya Toushirou. Pleasure to meet you." Hitsugaya said with a bow.

She was quiet and cold. He recalled Kurokou telling him about the defense department. He had said that it only concludes three members excluding the taichou. Kurokou himself had in fact trained the 3rd seat and the 4th seat however he wasn't able to train the fukutaichou came in earlier than him. He had also said that the fukutaichou and the 3rd seat was accepted into Squad 0 almost immediately after they enter 13 protective squad.

"Pleasure? You sure?" Hanabusa asked as she turned around and walked out the door.

Hitsugaya shunpo-ed after her as she walked along the corridor. Hitsugaya felt himself being pressured partly under the huge reiatsu the girl wield but mostly by the aura the girl exerted. He knitted his eyebrows together as he thought that he finally understood why the members of the Offense seems afraid or otherwise unkind towards them.

He looked at the brown hair bouncing in front of him, the figure in front of him seems to be gliding instead of walking. What speed… Finally he took a deep breath and said, "Thanks."

"For?"

"For saving me."

"You heard?"

"No. I saw."

She was quiet for a moment before replying emotionless, "Orders."

* * *

He stood mesmerized by the scene. She was sitting just right in front of him. Just there, within his grasp.

_Matsumoto…_

He saw her threw herself back,hitting the back of the chair, tears steaming down her cheeks as she murmured the words that pierce through his heart, "Taichou… I can't take it anymore… Taichou…"

It took all his might to not rush forward and shake her, so that she could notice his presence, so that… so that… she wouldn't need to cry anymore…

"Hitsugaya Toushirou, are you alright?" Hanabusa asked in a voice that doesn't have even a slight hint of concern.

"I'm fine, 3rd seat Hanabusa." Hitsugaya said quietly as he struggled to keep himself calm and his face expressionless. For the first time, it felt so difficult.

"Shall we proceed?" Hanabusa asked.

"Yes." Against all his will and wishes to stay, he turned and left after Hanabusa.

_Idiot! Remember your place… They shouldn't know that you remember. Idiot. _Hitsugaya scolded himself.

"I repeat our duty is to observe Soul Society. Record down your observations and report immediately if there is a hint of trouble arriving." Hanabusa said as she walked down the familiar corridors of the 10th Squad.

"In this dimension, you _will _be able to go through kidou barriers, you will be able to go into buildings through the walls. You will only be able to touch the objects that you want to touch. You will be able to sense all reiatsu, be it they are in a barrier or not." Hanabusa demonstrated by strolling into the wall and dissolving through it. Hitsugaya followed.

"Please note that nothing you do here should be able to affect the world there. Nobody from _that _world will or should be able to sense your presence. Return everything you had moved to it's original place." Hanabusa continued walking and through one of the unseated member who was walking along the corridor. The unseated member continued walking as if nothing had happened.

"Are there any questions?" Hanabusa asked after a few minutes of silence.

Hitsugaya stared at the ground, trying to absorb all the information.

_We were wrong when we thought that the king had let us rule ourselves? We were so wrong. A-aiz…_

He glanced up and asked struggling to stay calm, "Aizen, Aizen Sousuke's betrayal w-was…"

"It was as predicted, it was never a surprise to us. We've been watching him for years, right from the start." Hanabusa replied coldly without turning around.

"W-why didn't…" Hitsugaya struggled to ask.

"Yes? You said something?" Hanabusa turned around, stopping in the middle of the corridor, her eyes cold and intimidating as if daring him to continue his questions.

_Damn. I'm not supposed to remember…_

Hitsugaya recomposed himself before answering in his normal cool and calm voice, desperately hoping she did not realize. "Nothing."

"Very well. The most important thing about duty is that you are not to let the people in Soul Society be aware of your presence. Since you _should_ no longer be able to recognize them, I supposed you would not deliberately make your presence known. There's a punishment just in case you thought of playing a prank on them." Hanabusa looked at him intently.

_She knew…_

"Hai." Hitsugaya answered quietly.

Then in one motion, Hanabusa unsheathed her sword. Hitsugaya paused, frozen in his place.

_Is she going to kill me?_

His hand was by his side, inching to get a grip at his sword hilt. But he knew it was useless. If she wanted to kill him, he won't be able to put up much of a fight. So all he did was glared at the 3rd seat. Green met green.

She held her blade in front of her, pointing at Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya didn't even blink.

Then she swung her blade downwards, a line appeared in the air where the tip of her sword and touched, followed by a door fading in. It's auburn coloured with golden lines trailing down the sides of it and bronze handles in the middle.

"You may leave, I'll take over from here." Hanabusa ordered.

"Hai." Hitsugaya turned towards the door, it swung open, light shone from behind the door. Hitsugaya's haori was blown back from the wind. Then he entered the light.

"Keep what you know to yourself."

In shock, Hitsugaya turned around just in time to see the back of Hanabusa walking away before the door swung close.

* * *

Author's note: I try to make it as detailed as possible. Sorry, I went overseas for a week and thus this chapter is late… Sorry x-x, I hope you guys liked it. Please please do review. Reviews are gold!


	3. Chapter 2

I'm giving a very big THANK YOU to rockbabyval who helped me think you names and well… A lot of stuff XDXD

* * *

2. Everything will be alright

"Shirou-pyon! You're back!" Narumi hopped to his side, her golden brown hair bouncing lightly on her shoulders.

She held her hands behind her back and bend down slightly with her face upright looking straight at Hitsugaya's. "How's first day? I heard you've got Hanabusa."

Hitsugaya didn't reply, his eyebrows was still knit together, was waiting for the girl before him to walk off and stop blocking his way, he's desperate in need of some time alone. But after a few moments of silence, Hitsugaya concluded that the girl in front of him would not back off and decided to sidestep her.

But before he managed to get even one step forward after sidestepping, Narumi stepped in front of him, blocking him yet again. The cycle continued for about three times until Hitsugaya was finally fed up, "Can you quit blocking me?"

"Nope, I'm bored. Besides, you haven't answered me yet." Narumi indicated with her forefinger swing sideways.

"Go away." Hitsugaya stated coldly, today, he's extremely pissed off and was in no mood to entertain this childish senior officer of his.

"Not until you answer me." Narumi pouted with her hands on her hips.

"Go _away_." Hitsugaya spoke in a low growl, his eyes narrowed, his body tensed.

"What's wrong with you?" Narumi asked, pouting her mouth but made no move to back off.

Hitsugaya was about to explode when a presence and a soft click of the closing door interrupted them. Hitsugaya kept his gaze locked at Narumi's while Narumi glance up to meet the new arrival.

The moment she did so, she retreated back a few step before finally answering, "Ah, it's Hanabusa."

Hitsugaya notice that her voice did not waver as much as it did last time. And to his surprise the 3rd seat greeted back, "4th seat Narumi,"

But later only he realized it's not a greeting at all, the 3rd seat continued, "it's 3rd seat Hanabusa."

Hitsugaya took the chance when Narumi was occupied and escaped back to his room while noting mentally to thank Hanabusa again.

* * *

He sat at the window edge with one leg bend and the other left hanging down the window frame. His eyes gazing out the window.

He then glanced down at his hand before tightening it into a grip with his eyes squeezed close, brows furrowed.

_Matsumoto…_

* * *

Dear taichou,

Hinamori isn't any better. She refuses to eat or drink. She refuses to see me. She says that I betrayed her… just like… Aizen. She isn't talking to anyone now. All she does is sit in the corner of the room… mumbling… your name… Taichou, what am I supposed to do? I don't know what to do now… Taichou…

_Taichou… please, please come back soon._

* * *

Matsumoto glanced at the paper again before wiping off the tears on her face and get ready to set off for work.

"Ma-tsumoto… taichou?" A nervous voice rang outside the door.

"Come in."

The frame door slide open.

"Kaida?" Matsumoto blinked, a little shocked when she saw the figure outside the frame door.

"I… I was just wondering why you weren't in your office." Kaida answered nervously, her face brushing and eyes staring at the ground.

"I was just about to leave. Could you accompany me?" Matsumoto asked with a laugh.

"Sure." The girl squealed eagerly.

_Everything will be alright… It's be alright…_

* * *

"Hey there, Hitsugaya-kun." Kurokou who was sitting on one of the protruding rocks shouted as Hitsugaya entered the training grounds.

"5th seat Kurokou." Hitsugaya greeted.

"How many times have I told you to drop the formality?" Kurokou complained as he stood up and dusted off the dirt on his robe.

Hitsugaya shrugged his shoulder, dismissing the question as he joined Kurokou in the middle of the training grounds.

"Here." Kurokou tossed a rectangular box wrapped in white towards him.

Hitsugaya caught it with one hand and inquired "This is?"

"A box of chocolate from an anonymous." Kurokou answered promptly.

Hitsugaya cocked up an eyebrow.

Giving a sigh, Kurokou explained, "It's a form of apology from the Squad's unseated members for accusing you. They forced it upon me this morning when you were having your duty."

"Hey! What are you doing?" Kurokou cried when he notice Hitsugaya dropping the box on the rock where Kurokou was sitting a while before.

"Preparing for training?" Hitsugaya replied.

Kurokou clasped his hands together and said, "Right! Oh, about our training, we have a special guest joining our today. But for some reason she's late."

Just right after Kurokou finished his sentence, a figure entered the training grounds, yelling, "Shirou-pyon!"

"3rd seat Narumi…" Hitsugaya murmured in dismay.

_Of all people… Why her?_

As Narumi arrived before them, Kurokou announced, "Well, since everyone's here. We're going to start today's training."

"You," Kurokou pointed at Hitsugaya and continued, "Will be sparring with Narumi-sama."

Narumi nodded eagerly. "Let's start right on."

* * *

"I won't go easy on you." Narumi teased as she took her stance in front of Hitsugaya and drew her sword. Hitsugaya drew his sword in response.

They circled each other.

"She's fast, so don't lose focus." Kurokou called out from the sides.

Hitsugaya observed her moves, she's moving slowly but lightly. Her movement's relax but he can't take it too lightly. Through she's childish and seems simple but she's a 4th seat after all.

Hitsugaya then locked his eyes on her right hand which was gripping the sword and decided to concentrate his reiatsu on his left hand just in case. Then suddenly, she disappeared from his line of vision.

_Where?_

Then he felt it, the sword cutting into the cloth on the back of his left shoulder. He immediately brought up his sword to slow down the blow and jumped out from under the sword and swung around to face her.

"Wow, not bad. I must say." Narumi exclaimed.

"It's a good strategy. By concentrating your reiatsu on your sword-holding hand, you're able to increase your speed and your strength of the defense." Kurokou complimented.

Hitsugaya didn't reply, he just stared straight at Narumi and took his stance. Narumi too took her stance. Her sword held in front of her.

"You ready?"

This time however, Hitsugaya disappeared from Narumi's line of vision. Before Narumi knew anything, a cut appeared on the cloth at the back of her left shoulder.

"I return what was given." Hitsugaya answered as Narumi swung around in shock with one hand covering the cut.

"Good job, Hitsugaya-kun. Narumi-sama, he taught you one lesson, never to look down on your opponent." Kurokou commented.

"I didn't look down on him, I just wasn't prepared." Narumi retorted.

"Whatever you say… Just release your shikai already." Kurokou complained.

"Right." Narumi pouted unhappily.

She then closed her eyes, both her hands clutched the hilt. Hitsugaya could sense her reiatsu flaring up.

"Now, Hitsugaya-kun, don't be shock, there's no meaning in shock." Kurokou commented.

Hitsugaya stood with his right leg in front and his left leg behind, his sword hand raised to his waist, his sword slightly slanted protecting his chest. His body tensed.

_It's alright… Alright…_

"Spread and bloom, Hisui Hana." The hilt in Narumi's hand turned into oak brown, two flowers with white petals and yellow core bloomed on the guard of the sword, the sword itself turned into crystal with a light shade of green.

Narumi swung her blade and drew a cross in the air and whispered, "Seeds that once sleep, hear my voice and be awake."

Then she shouted, "Living bind."

* * *

Author's note: I'll spends a lot of time writing this up, it's the first time, me really writing action stuff... so people, do tell me what i did wrong and if the whole thing is ok. Hope you people enjoy. XD And _review _please! (:(:

ps. thanks again, rockbabyval XDXD


	4. Chapter 3

Merry Christmas to all! At least it's 12:00 now, here XD here goes the christmas present

* * *

3. Purpose is...

Narumi swung her blade and drew a cross in the air and whispered, "Seeds that once sleep, hear my voice and be awake."

Then she shouted, "Living bind."

A circle of brown light surrounded Hitsugaya as vines spouted out from the ground and wrapped around Hitsugaya's legs. Hitsugaya cut the vines and tried to jumped out of the light but the new vines shot up from the ground and with lightning speed wrapped themselves all over him.

"This is my first and most basic attack." Narumi said as she watched Hitsugaya struggling to get out of the bind. By now the vines had reached his waist leaving only his upper body free to move.

"If you can't even…"

Narumi's sentence was interrupted by Hitsugaya murmuring, "Set upon frozen heaven, Hyourinmaru!"

A burst of reiatsu erupted from Hitsugaya, all the vines was frozen. With a light shake, the vines holding him shattered. And he stepped out from the frozen vines, and looked at shocked Narumi with his sword pointing at her.

"Do continue you sentence." He replied coldly.

"You did it! I knew you would." Narumi bounced up and down happily. And Hitsugaya gave a very dark scowl.

"Narumi-sama, could you please concentrate, we are having a training here." Kurokou murmured with a defeated look.

* * *

"Taichou, is there anything, I can help with?" Kaida who was standing beside the taichou's working desk, asked.

"It's alright, why don't you join the new recruits and explore the division?" Matsumoto answered.

Kaida did not respond, instead she just lowered her head.

Matsumoto was about to ask what's wrong but then decided again it. She doesn't want to force it out of this girl. Let's just let her say when she's ready.

Matsumoto ruffled her hair and continued, "If not, why don't you help me sort out the paper works?"

"Ok." The girl immediately brightened up and nodded eagerly.

* * *

"Why are you here?" Matsumoto asked when she spotted a white haired kid standing along the corridor with his back against the wall.

"3rd seat Matsumoto." He greeted coldly.

"Kid, why you hanging around here? I thought the new recruits are now exploring around the division?" Matsumoto asked as she bend slight down to match the kid's height.

"I'm not interested." The kid replied promptly.

"Not interested? Are you sure it's not because you can't mix with the others?" Matsumoto asked innocently.

"Shut up." The kid answered, desperately hoping that this woman in front of him would just leave him alone.

"Ah! Why don't you come and help me with my paper work?" Matsumoto exclaimed happily. Extremely glad that she had came up with this brilliant idea.

"I refuse." He answered.

But Matsumoto gripped his wrist and started dragging him to the administrative office while continuing cheerfully as if he hadn't said anything, "I could really do with some help."

"Stop, let go of me! 3rd seat Matsumoto, I demand that you, let go of me!" The boy tried to free his hand but failed. Thus he was dragged along the corridor and into the administrative office.

"The taichou and fukutaichou's on leave so it'll be me and you doing the paperwork!" Matsumoto explained as she slide open the administrative door.

* * *

"Taichou… taichou, are you alright?"

Matsumoto blinked, her eyes blurred before focusing on the face in front of her.

"Ah, Kaida. I'm fine." Matsumoto answered with a smile and pat the girl's brown hair.

"Taichou… you look really pale… are you really alright?" The girl asked in concern.

"I'm fine." Matsumoto answered.

"Is it because of Hinamori fukutaichou?"

Matsumoto tensed, her hand which was half raised stood froze in the air. She then forced out a smile and asked, "Where did you hear that from?"

The girl then started staring at the floor, she shifted left and right, "I… I heard… I heard her screaming that day…"

Then she suddenly kneeled the floor and apologized, "I'm sorry… I know I shouldn't know… But… but…"

"It's fine, it's fine." Matsumoto smiled, pulling the girl up to her feet.

The girl stood with her head bowed, she whispered, "I'm sorry..."

"It's fine as long as you keep this little secret for me, can you do that?" Matsumoto smiled gently, afraid that she would scare this little girl.

"Ok." The girl nodded with a smile, tears filled her eyes.

"It's get back to work, shall we?" Matsumoto asked.

The girl wiped off the tears in her eyes and nodded.

* * *

Three ice made dragons few across the field and towards Narumi, Narumi raised her sword in front of her and shouted, "Living Bind!"

Vines spouted up from the ground and wrapped themselves around the ice dragons before crushing it. Then she immediately raised her sword over her head with her left hand supporting near the tip of the sword to block the blow from behind her.

With a smile, she applied forced onto the sword with both her hands, forcing back the enemy's sword while swinging around and counter attacked Hitsugaya by swing down the sword.

Hitsugaya bought up his sword and blocked the attack. They stood still with their sword crisscrossed in between them.

"You're good, using the ice dragons as distraction." Narumi commented with a grin before summoning up vines from the dry ground below and wrapped around his legs, immobilizing Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya replied by freezing all the vines and at the same time freezing Narumi's sword.

With a shock gaps, Narumi pushed the sword forward, breaking the ice before jumping a few steps back.

"Narumi-sama, use your bankai _now_." Kurokou ordered.

"Why are you being so pushy today?" Narumi pouted unhappily but followed the order nonetheless.

"Bankai!" She murmured softly. Her eyes glowed green, her sword dissolved into a green light, a green bracelet with jade flower appeared on both of her wrist. "Junsuinahisui Hana."

Hitsugaya too released his bankai, "Daiguren Hyourinmaru."

Ice wings and a tail sprouted from his back, ice formed into a shape of a dragon's head on his sword holding arms.

Narumi straighten her hand, her fingers spread out in front of her towards Hitsugaya, she called, "Black needle."

Thorns shot out and towards Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya immediately flew to the sky avoiding all the thorns. Hitsugaya then swung his sword in an arch firing ice daggers back at Narumi.

* * *

Matsumoto woke up in a start.

"You finally woke up, 3rd seat Matsumoto." The white haired kid murmured coldly, while his hands busy filling in the report.

Matsumoto looked at the kid and smiled.

"Quite slacking and do the paperwork. Damn it, it's not even my job." The kid cursed darkly.

* * *

"Taichou, I've finished sorting the paper works, is there anything else I can do?" The girl asked, lifting her head up.

"That's all. You should go back and rest now." Matsumoto said smiling before continuing working on the report.

The girl stood looking at Matsumoto. "Could I…"

Matsumoto lifted up her head and look at the girl. The girl took a deep breath and continued, "Could I stay for a little while more?"

Matsumoto then replied, "Alright, just a little while more. It's late."

"Thank you, taichou." The girl grinned.

_Through you were cursing, mumbling strings of words the whole time. You never left. You never did left._

_Your purpose is to..._

* * *

"That's all for training today." Kurokou clapped his hands together while Hitsugaya and Narumi both sheathed their swords.

"It's fun training with you, Shirou-pyon." Narumi exclaimed cheerfully.

"Narumi-sama, could you come for training tomorrow too." Kurokou asked hopping down from the rock.

"Alright. Same time right?" Narumi asked.

Kurokou nodded in return. He then continue, "Narumi-sama, could you spare us some time. I believe Hitsugaya here wants to talk to me."

"Alright, see you tomorrow then. Kurokou, Shirou-pyon." Narumi left.

The two shinigami stood in silence for a while until Kurokou took a deep breath and broke the silence, "Yes, Hitsugaya-kun, what do you want to know?"

Hitsugaya looked at Kurokou, his gaze still, "What is the purpose of this training?"

* * *

Author's note: Sorry for the sucky title could think of any so i just randomly made one... And yup guys, this is your Christmas Present from me. Through I know it isn't a very good one but hopw you liked it. XD And erm... maybe the next chapter would be slightly later couse currently having some blocks on writing and plus school is starting _soon_... NOOoooooooo!

ps. reviews please XD I'm hungry for reviews (:


	5. Chapter 4

Author's note: *bows sincerely* sorry people, it's late. Because school is starting tomorrow! *screams with agony* . I'Oh, by the way, I'll most likely be updating new chapters (hopefully)every Sunday. So enjoy.

* * *

4. A taichou

Hitsugaya looked at Kurokou, his gaze still, "What is the purpose of this training?"

"Purpose… you phased it well… " Kurokou lowered his head and murmured quietly more to himself than to Hitsugaya, "You need to know… and it's about time…"

He took a deep breath and continued, "Well, other than to get used being around shinigami with high reiatsu and to test your ability. There's another purpose for training. It's…"

He glanced up at Hitsugaya, "to improve your reiatsu."

* * *

"Normally, a shinigami when fight or hung with another shinigami with a higher reiatsu, their reiatsu will increase as well." Kurokou explained.

Hitsugaya questioned, "But?"

"But, for some funny reasons, your reiatsu… didn't increase as it should. So I've decided to have you sparring with someone who had a higher reiatsu than me, in this case, 4th seat Narumi. Hopefully, your reiatsu would… you know, buck up."

"So you mean, my reiatsu have not been increasing?" Hitsugaya asked.

"No, no, no. Your reiatsu have been increasing, all right. But, it's speed's like more than 50 times slower than normally it should be. Another thing is that, it's funny that you, have achieve and are able to use most maybe all your bankai's attack but yet, it's not matured." Kurokou said with a light heated laugh.

"At first I thought that maybe my reiatsu isn't like yours, which is an element type. But then after today…" Kurokou's voice faded as he looked deep in thought.

"In other words, it didn't work." Hitsugaya finished for him.

Kurokou nodded, his face a little grim, "I really don't know, what's wrong. You don't seem, no I mean, you aren't those late boomers but, this is really strange."

Hitsugaya lowered his head and stared at the hilt of his zanpakutou.

"I actually decided to tell you tomorrow when I'm certain of it. But since you asked… so I've decided to just tell you first. We'll see how tomorrow goes before deciding what to do next. So, see you tomorrow Hitsugaya-kun." Kurokou clapped his hands together, a bright smile bloomed on his face once again.

"Ah." Hitsugaya promptly waved his hand before leaving the training grounds. A bath sounds like a really good idea.

* * *

"I'm finally done!" Matsumoto exclaimed with an exhausted laugh before she suddenly remembered that the other girl was in the same room as her.

"Kaida…" Her voice faded when her eyes landed on the sleeping girl on the sofa.

"Ah… Kaida." She whispered softly with a smile.

* * *

She placed the girl down on her futon before pulling out an extra futon.

She paused just as she was getting into the futon. She then walked to the wall, her fingers trailing the letters on the paper. She then turned around and glanced longingly at the sleeping girl.

_Is that how it feels like to be a taichou?_

* * *

"Atsuko fukutaichou." The brown haired girl greeted.

The fukutaichou glanced up, her gaze cold and calm, "Yes, Rima?"

"He remembers." The 3rd seat answered, her voice betraying no feelings at all.

"I see." The fukutaichou answered equally emotionless.

"Kurotaki's fate?" the 3rd seat asked.

The fukutaichou looked at the 3rd seat in the eye.

The 3rd seat's gaze didn't waver. Then the fukutaichou stood up and walked over to the 3rd seat. She grabbed her sword hilt at near the guard and pulled out a little.

The 3rd seat then touched the end of the hilt.

* * *

A hand appeared in front of him, it was dripping red. The hand reached forward as if trying to stop something. He saw a sword appeared in the hands of the empty handed man somewhere in front of him. The man was yelling something, something… at the female. It was so burr, so soft.

Then the man fell and someone approached him, blocking him. Then…

Hitsugaya woke up with a start, his body drenched in cold sweat.

_You were having a bad dream, master._ An ice dragon appeared next to Hitsugaya, a worried look on his face.

_I'm alright._ Hitsugaya looked up and said.

_You looked confused and uncomfortable, and yet you say that you're alright. _The dragon replied disapprovingly.

_I'm alright, I-I just need some time to calm down. _Hitsugaya retorted.

_As you wish, master. But, do try to take care of yourself more. _Hyourinmaru dissolved into thin air.

Hitsugaya stood up, knowing fully well that now, he can't go back to sleep anymore.

_Stupid dream..._ Hitsugaya cursed.

_Master, you're being childish. _Came the reply.

Hitsugaya gave a frown before climbing up the window edge.

_

* * *

I wonder how's Matsumoto doing? _Hitsugaya thought, his hands trailing the seams of his robe.

_It was quite some time since you last asked this question. _The dragon fluttered around the ice field in his mindscape.

_I think they've placed some spell on me to… forget the past. _Hitsugaya thought drily.

_You'll get your answer tomorrow._

_the half-day duty tomorrow…_

"The presents! The… farewell presents." Hitsugaya straightened up, his widened eyes traveled to the empty floor at the side of his room.

_I didn't… get to open… any of them… _Hitsugaya thought, filled with guilt.  
_I think they took it away to prevent you from being reminded of the past? _Hyourinmaru thought of an explanation. Hyourinmaru added, _I really wonder… who's the one doing it?_

There was a moment of silence. As both wielder and zanpakutou was deep in thought.

_Hyou-Hyourinmaru…_

_Yes, master?_

_I… I'm afraid. Just a little afraid. _Hitsugaya pulled up his legs to his chest.

_Afraid Of what you might find? _Hyourinmaru asked softly, its body curved up, its head resting under its huge wings.

Hitsugaya stretched out his hand towards the bright round moon that hung on the sky, as if trying to touch it. He then withdrew his hand and stared at his empty hand, his mouth muttering softly, "What I might find…"


	6. Chapter 5

_One's real life is often the life that one does not lead. ~Oscar Wilde, L'Envoi to Rose-leaf and Apple-leaf, 1882_

* * *

5. I'm here, but you...

_Soul Society… _

He doesn't know how he should feel after knowing it. After knowing that Squad 0 was constantly observing Soul Society without their knowledge, he really wasn't sure what to think.

He wandered around in the place he was once very familiar with. He stopped in his track when he reached a frame door. The same frame door he used to see every day in the past. He walked into the room. The same teal painted walls, the same window that he used to stare out.

Then he glanced down and saw her, safely and calmly lying in her futon. He muttered, his voice soft but filled with happiness, "Matsumoto… I'm here..."

* * *

His eyes traveled around the room. It hadn't changed much. Then he noticed some papers pinned to the wall and walked over to investigate.

* * *

Dear taichou… Everyone seems to be doing fine…Taichou, I'll try my best. But Taichou… A bad dream… Waiting for a certain taichou… How are you taichou? Hope you are well…You're my taichou after all. He is like… I still can't forget about you… I really do miss you… _Taichou, come back soon… _I'm going to pin these letters up so if you ever decide to visit me when I'm unaware you'll be able to read it! Hinamori is freaking out… _Taichou, please come back soon… _I don't know what I should do. I don't know what she'll do when she wakes up. Taichou, what should I do? _Taichou, please please come back…_

* * *

Hitsugaya's eyes fell onto the last entry

Dear taichou,

Taichou, I really tried. I really tried my best to go on. When I've finally convinced that I'm alright. I'm ok. I've moved on. Everything went wrong. When I've thought I've finally overcome the fear, I… Taichou, please help me…

_Taichou… come back._

Hitsugaya glanced over his shoulders and looked at the sleeping figure.

_Matsu-moto…_

* * *

He stretched out his hand to wake her up. He wanted to show Matsumoto a sign that he did came back, to show her that he's right here… with her.

"_Since you should no longer be able to recognize them, I supposed you would not deliberately make your presence known." _A voice rang in his head. His hand froze.

_I'd get her into big trouble… No… I'd…_

Hitsugaya withdrew his hands and walked away without looking back.

_I shouldn't let my emotions hinder me… I… shouldn't._

He stopped at the frame door. He held the door, his hand slided down the sides. But before he left, he couldn't help but think…

_Matsumoto, I'm here... But you..._

* * *

She looked up and saw a small figure walking in front of her. Then she ran.

_Wait!_

The familiar white locks.

_Don't! _

The pale complexion.

_Don't go!_

The lonely shadow.

_Tai…_

Her finger trying to grab hold of his black robe.

_Chou… I…_

The robe turned into dust just when she's about to touch it.

_Where…_

She could only watch as the figure turned into dust leaving nothing behind, as if nothing had happened.

_Did you go?_

Matsumoto blinked and found a burred image of the familiar teal ceiling. She rubbed her tears away with the back of her hand.

_Taichou…_

She walked to the board and stared at the letters longingly.

"Taichou… have you ever thought…"

She then glanced out the window at the sun rising.

"Maybe… Just maybe… I…" Her voice trailed off.

…_don't want to move on?_

* * *

Matsumoto turned around and shook her head hard, then she said with a forced smile, "No, taichou wouldn't want that."

She then bend down and started rolling up the futon and noticed a letter right next to the futon.

_Taichou, _

_I'm sorry, to have fell asleep yesterday… I should have listened to you and just go back to the room. But, I stubbornly wanted to see you for a longer time… __since I wouldn't be able to see you today__. I was supposed to tell you that I was permitted to visit my sister back home today… She's sick. I don't think you knew… __It's some very minor issues after all…__ I don't think I should even bother you with this stuff… __I am__ But then, thanks a lot. _

_Yours respectfully,  
Kaida._

A tear landed on the letter.

Matsumoto smiled.

_I've forgotten, I've still got you…_

* * *

Hitsugaya closed his eyes and he concentrated on sensing reiatsu, the way Hanabusa had taught him. He chanted, "Way of binding no. 158, Reveal the shadows."

A structure of platform appeared in front of him, mini sized transparent building with small of various coloured flames with names labeled appeared on the platform.

He took a deep breath and observed the small world on the platform. At least everything seems all right. Then suddenly he noticed a small red flame started to flicker. Then another pink flame near it started to sway violently. He glanced at the names and then immediately fled to the venue.

_Damn it. Matsumoto, hang in there._

* * *

With a yawn, Matsumoto slide open the door. She froze in mid yawn, when she noticed the state of everything in the administrative office.

Everything was in a mess. Books were scattered everywhere on the floor, ink bottled turned over, ink spilled, the couch pillow laying on the floor. She glanced up and noticed a girl kneeling over, looking under the couch as if looking for something.

"Hina-mori-chan… What are you doing here?" Matsumoto asked, her voice wavering.

The girl turned around, her face pale and blank. Then suddenly with an unexpected light smile, she answered lively, "I'm looking for Shirou-chan!"

"But… Taichou… He's out for a mission." Matsumoto answered, a little uncertain and a little afraid.

As if Matsumoto hadn't reply, the girl added while her eyes and hands continued looking and searching, "Shirou-chan's playing hide-and-seek with me. It has been a while since we played that game."

Matsumoto stood stunned, unable to move, unable to talk. She could only stare at the girl as she continued the impossible quest.

After searching the crouch, the girl continued looking at the shelf located next to the crouch. Throwing books off the shelf as if looking for some switch for a secret passageway to open up. Then she continued to chatter away happily, "Rangiku-san, you know what? Shirou-chan had promised to bring me around Soul Society when I leave the hospital. I really had a very good little brother."

"Hinamori…chan, stop…" Matusmoto spoke, her voice weak.

"I'm glad to have met someone like Shirou-chan!" Hinamori continued with pride.

Tears steamed down her cheeks, her mouth unable to voice out anything.

"Where are you Shirou-chan~" Hinamori sang softly, a smile hung on her face.

"Hinamori-chan, please stop it." Matsumoto clutched Hinamori's hands and pleaded desperately.

"Stop? Why stop?" Hinamori asked, a pair of innocent clear brown eyes.

"Please stop. You would find him here… You… You won't… You won't…" Matsumoto cried and started sobbing.

"What do you mean? Shirou-chan's here. Shirou-chan's…"

Matusmoto interrupted, "He's promoted to Squad 0… You won't… You won't… find him _here_…"

_Taichou, I'm sorry… I'm sorry…_

"B-but… he promised to take me around Soul Society! Shirou-chan promised!"

* * *

"Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya cried as he rushed into the administrative office.

"_B-but… he promised to take me around Soul Society! Shirou-chan promised!"_

Hitsugaya stood stunned, his eyes widen.

_Hi-Hinamori…_

"Take it back, Rangiku! TAKE IT BACK! Hitsugaya's _here! _You are lying!" The girl shouted and gripped the older woman's robe.

"It's true… It's… true…" Matsumoto cried,

He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout, he wanted to just appear in front of them and stop everything that's happening.

"Hitsugaya Toushirou, your shift is over. Please take your leave." A voice broke through the air.

He clutched his fist tightly, desperately controlling his voice and reiatsu, "H-hai… A...tsuko fukutaichou..."

He resisted taking a last look and disappeared through the door.

* * *

"We have a situation here." The black haired fukutaichou commented.

The brown haired 3rd seat stepped out from behind the fukutaichou, "It seems so."

* * *

Author's note: Ello, people. It's up one day early cos there's as consequences, I hope this would happen every week(it's kinda impossible.) School has started... *screams* Thus my chapter might turn out shorter. I'm sorry. And there might be times where I have late updates... I'm sorry, BLAME the school. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It's... erm... don't know. I just hope you enjoy it, even through, it might not be what you wanted. THANKS!


	7. Chapter 6

Individualism is rather like innocence: There must be something unconscious about it. ~Louis Kronenberger, _Company Manners_, 1954

* * *

6. Strong

"You are _lying_! Admit it! NOW!" Hinamori screamed, her left hand still gripping Matsumoto's robe, her right hand raised, in front of the older woman, a fireball already hovering above it.

"It's true." Matsumoto answered calmly and closed her eyes, her hands by her side, waiting for the blow to land. Maybe that blow could just make her unconscious, maybe that blow, could just kill her and stop her from suffering… Maybe…

The loud sound of the door slamming closed shocked Matsumoto, and she opened her eyes just in time to see Hinamori being pushed backwards and falling to the floor on her bottom.

A short figure stood up in front of her, one hand on the hilt of her zanpakutou and the other held out defensively in front of Matsumoto. With a dark glare and cold voice, the figure threatened Hinamori, who was sitting on the floor, looking confused, "Don't you dare harm _my _taichou."

Then the 4th Squad members entered the room. Unohana walked up to Matsumoto and bowed as an unconscious Hinamori was loaded up the stretcher, "My apologies for letting our patient to cause you trouble again. I assure you, it will_ never_ happen again, Matsumoto."

"It's a-alright." Matsumoto said with a weak laugh.

"If you would excuse us." Unohana said, a gentle smile on her face. Then she left with the other members filing out after her.

Matsumoto took a deep breath and turned around to look at the figure who still had her back to her, "Kai-d…"

"Taichou, it's a taichou's job to protect their subordinates right?" The girl asked without turning around.

"Ah, it is." Matsumoto answered with a smile.

"Then, it's a subordinate's job to watch the taichou's back." The girl turned around, her brows knitted, her light green eyes bright and serious, "isn't it?"

A tear forked down the taichou's eyes. She then bent down and hugged the girl, "Kaida… What am I going to do without you?"

* * *

"I'll leave you in charge. Notify me if anything arises." With this the black haired fukutaichou left.

* * *

"The subject under observation is currently stable and well." The black haired fukutaichou reported.

The taichou merely nodded and replied, "I've sent Sakihara to ensure nothing of the sort will ever occur again."

The fukutaichou stared back at her superior, a rare dark scowl on her usually emotionless face.

"There's something I need you to do." A file slid across the table and stopped before the fukutaichou.

Her scowl darkened.

* * *

"Ne, Kaida. I thought you went home to visit your sister?" Matsumoto asked, the brush dancing over the paper.

"I had a bad feeling and decided to come back." The girl replied, her eyes still scanning the piece of paper in her hand.

"Is your sister alright?" Matsumoto asked and stole a glance at the girl in front of her.

"She's…" The girl's voice faded then she continued, "Fine…"

Matsumoto glanced up, a little shocked at the quietness of the girl. She asked, concerned, "What happened?"

"She… She hasn't been happy for a long time." The younger girl answered quietly before refocusing on the paperwork in her hands, indicating that the subject was closed.

"Do you wish to visit her?" Matsumoto asked and placed her brush down.

The girl glanced up, her eyes bright as if shocked to hear the question. She then stared back down at the paper, her eyes dimming, "It's all because of me… I made her suffer…"

Then with a smile, the girl continued, "But she's strong, very strong. I really admire her."

_Kaida…_

Matsumoto smiled at the once again enthusiastic girl.

"Ah, I once had someone like that too…." She looked out the window, her gaze distant. "He too is strong… Too strong for his own good…"

* * *

A hell butterfly flew in from the window and landed on Hitsugaya's shoulder. "Hitsugaya Toushirou, please report to Sakihara fukutaichou's office immediately."

"Hai." He answered and headed off.

* * *

"Ah, Toushirou-kun. Here you are." The fukutaichou greeted cheerfully.

"Sakihara fukutaichou." Hitsugaya greeted quietly.

"Here." Sakihara handed a letter to him.

Hitsugaya took the letter hesitantly, "Thank you?"

Sakihara smiled and nodded, motioning him to open it. He flipped the letter in his hands over. It was a plain white envelope with a seal written 'zero' behind. He opened the envelope and took out the letter.

His eyes widened in shock and he murmured disbelief, "What? A 5th seat?"

* * *

Hitsugaya walked back to his room, shocked. He had only been in Squad 0 for like? About what? 10 days or so?

But the moment he slid open his bedroom door, his heart felt tons heavier and his face darkened, eyes dimming.

He sat down next to his futon and placed his sheathed sword in front of him. He hugged his knees and stared at his sword. _I made the wrong choice didn't I?_

_It doesn't matter, does it? _The dragon replied with a question.

Hitsugaya stared at the sword in silence.

The dragon added. _You can't change anything now. The only thing you can do, is move forward._

"Move forward…" Hitsugaya muttered. A few tears landed on his sleeve.

_You should tell someone about it. Bottling up makes it worse, you know?_

He tightened his hold around his knees, a soft sniff echoing in the room.

_

* * *

Thump_. Hitsugaya glanced up and saw a shadow disappearing from the screen door.

He raced over and slid open the door.

There was no one in sight. A flash of white out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention.

It was a piece of paper.

He picked up the paper carefully. It was a piece of white paper folded into three equal parts.

_What is this?_

He straightened the paper carefully.

_

* * *

Dear taichou,_

_How are you? I really hope will come back. I really do. But, I know you would want me to move on. I was on the edge of giving up when I was reminded that, 'A taichou is supposed to protect their subordinates. And it's a subordinate's job to watch the taichou's back.'_

_A subordinate should be an asset instead of a liability. So, taichou. I promise you, I'll move on. I'll be strong and move up. You should too, taichou. Kaida, she reminded me of all these. She reminded me how it feels to be like in a Squad, how it feels like to have hope and how it feels like to have someone supporting you, trusting you. You're always keeping everything to yourself. Taichou, don't bury your feelings. I know somewhere in there, there's a taichou, who's caring, who's gentle and kind, a taichou who's not as strong as he looks like._

_Taichou just remember that someone here that trust you, there's some one here that believes in you no matter what. Good luck._

_Taichou, I'm still waiting. (:_

* * *

Hitsugaya smiled, and a few drops of water landed on the letter.

* * *

Author's note: Yay! First thing first, I succeeded increasing the length of this chapter from 600+ to 1000+ Hooray! The last part was added last minute. And I can't believe that I actually get to finish this thing in time. Whoooooooooooooooo. So hope you people enjoy. And erm, you feel that this is a unlike my usual style. That's probably because I got a bit depress a few days ago and just recovered. Hope you people enjoy this chap.


	8. Chapter 7

We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume, _Contretemps_

* * *

7. For the better

"How's our new fifth seat?" Narumi bounced in.

"Shut up." He answered. Narumi giggled.

"And about yesterday, I can't believe that you actually canceled it at the last minute! You made me wait for so long." Narumi complained, pouting.

"Something came up…" He replied quietly, trying not to think about the incident any more than was necessary.

"Are you alright? You look so pale…" Narumi commented and cupped newly promoted 5th seat's face.

"I'm alright!" He stated coldly, pushing away the offensive hand.

"You had a bad dream." Narumi guessed.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened momentarily before he narrowed them, "Don't assume."

_Though it's a little too accurate._

"I knew it, you had a nightmare. What was in the dream?" Narumi asked enthusiastically.

"Nothing! I told you don't assume." He retorted in a very childish manner.

"Now now, don't you lie to me. Tell me about it." Narumi tapped the boy's hair as if talking to a kid.

He was about to continue denying when a voice stopped him. _Taichou, don't bury your feelings._

After a few seconds' pause, he finally shouted but was very very unhappy about it, "A bloody hand and a psycho guy fighting with a girl. Happy now?"

"That's really kind of scary." Narumi replied with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

His brows relaxed for a moment. _It really feels… better?_

Then the 3rd seat mused thoughtfully, "I wonder who that guy is."

"It's…" The pissed off kid was about to answer but paused in confusion.

_Wait, who was it again? _

The guy somehow felt very familiar, but somehow he just couldn't put a finger on _who_ he was…

Before the situation could get any worse, another person popped up interrupting it for good.

"Oh hiya, Narumi-sama! And how's your first day, 5th seat?" The voice sounded extremely mocking on the last two words.

"Shut up, 4th seat." The 5th seat replied unhappily.

"Let's start our training, shall we?" The happy-go-lucky 4th seat asked and gestured to the middle of the training grounds.

* * *

"Taichou, are you sure that you don't want to visit her?" Kaida tugged the strawberry blonde's sleeve and asked.

"Yes… I'm sure." Matsumoto answered and grabbed her brush to continue doing her work.

"You don't sound sure." The girl propped her head up with her hands under her chin, watching the taichou with bright eyes.

"I'm sure." Matsumoto replied more firmly.

"Then why did you kept looking out the window with your gaze settling on the 4th Squad barracks most of the time?" The girl asked, her gaze clear and innocent.

Matsumoto didn't reply. It was true that she had wanted to visit Hinamori but she was so afraid of the result she decided she would rather not know how that girl was doing. But problem was, this wasn't her nature at all. Not visiting someone who's hurt was too unlike her.

After a few minutes of silence, Matsumoto said, "Kaida, would you please stop looking at me? I can't concentrate."

The girl didn't move from her position, her head still resting on her hands. She replied calmly, "Even if I stop looking, you wouldn't be able to concentrate."

"Who says so?" Matsumoto retorted.

"You had the paperwork upside down for say, half an hour without noticing it." The girl replied.

"Oh!" Matsumoto exclaimed when she found the paper was indeed upside down. How had she not noticed it all the time?

"If you really want to visit her, just go ahead. I'll help you do the work here." The girl offered.

"But Kaida…."

"Taichou, just go. It'll be alright. Really. I can assure you that if you continue in this state, nothing will be done."

After a few minutes of thinking, Matsumoto took a deep breath and stood up, "Ok, I'm going."

"No problem. Leave this to me." The girl smiled. That sounded more like it.

"Are you sure…"

"I AM SURE! Just go already!"

* * *

After 2 hours of sparring, the training finally ended.

"Narumi-sama. Could you give us a moment?" Narumi nodded and left.

The boy looked at the 4th seat's expression and immediately knew the results.

"There isn't any improvement." Kurokou answered the boy's unasked question.

"I suggest that we try it with one more person and if it still fails, then it's confirmed that you're a special case."

"3rd seat Hanabusa?" The white haired 5th seat suggested almost immediately.

Kurokou took a deep breath and answered, "I saw that coming… I'll try my best to negotiate with her. I'm not sure whether she will agree to help…"

"Thanks."

* * *

Matsumoto took a deep breath and knocked on the door softly. "H-hinamori-chan, are you there?" She could feel her hands trembling, her heart pumping faster and faster as she stood there.

"Come in!"

Matsumoto slid the door open.

"Glad to see you, Matsumoto-san."

"Hinamori-chan? You seem…" Matsumoto inspected the girl. To her surprise, the girl appeared alright. In fact, she seemed to have recovered to her normal self. Her cheeks were a faint shade of red, her eyes bright and filled with energy.

"…well." Matsumoto finished, both surprised and very glad.

"I've gotten better now. Unohana taichou says that I can return to my Squad in a few days time." The girl replied cheerfully.

"Ah, that's good." Matsumoto replied, not quite sure what she should say.

"I'm really sorry about my outbursts these past few days – I wasn't really myself those times. And I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble recently." Hinamori apologized, much to Matsumoto's shock. She had actually thought that the girl had in fact forgotten all about taichou. But now…

"It's alright, I'm really glad that you're yourself again. Really." Matsumoto replied, shaking her head. Was this reality or was it a dream?

"Ah, I can't believe it. Shirou-chan actually broke his promise! He promised me to take me around Soul Society. But now he's gone." Hinamori cried out unhappily, a scowl on her face.

"I'll take you around then." Matsumoto suggested. A bright smile lit up her expression.

"Ok. Thanks!" Hinamori answered with a smile.

_Things are turning for the better._

* * *

"Negative huh?" Narumi commented when the boy came out from the training grounds.

"Yeah."

"Who are you going to try next?"

"3rd seat Hanabusa."

She didn't seem surprised by his reply. "Ah! That kid. She's a water type, so I guess she's the person you really should look for."

"You don't seem afraid of her."

"Of course not."

He looked up at her, slightly puzzled. "Why?"

"Because… I don't think she means to be cold."

"Then what about the fukutaichou?"

"Erm… I don't know. I just feel you know… small next to her." The 3rd seat hesitated slightly before continuing. "Like she's an adult and I'm a child. But that's different. Hanabusa was once… I admit she's never been talkative and such, but I know she isn't that cold too. She's just somehow… I don't know. Trying to keep people away from her – but that doesn't make sense either, does it?"

_Doesn't it?_

The phrase from earlier that day crossed his mind again.

_Taichou, don't bury your feelings…_

"No." He replied aloud. "I suppose it really doesn't."

_But… maybe she has her own reasons too._

There was a sudden rush of thoughts, of images. A man – _pain_ – the feeling that he had to help someone, urgently – a man crawling on the ground begging – the man… he realized that he had seen that man before, that _this was the same man he'd seen in his dream _–

"Hey, are you okay? Answer me!"

The worried voice snapped him out of his reverie, and his eyes flew open. He hadn't even realized that he'd closed them.

Narumi was looking at him worriedly. "Are you sure you're alright? You had me quite worried for a while back there…"

"I'm okay." He waved off her attention. "It's nothing, really. I'm just a little… tired. I'll go back to rest for a while, if you don't mind."

She still looked concerned. "You had better do that. Are you sure you're up to training tomorrow? I can always ask Kurokou to cancel it, you know…"

"No, that won't be necessary. I'm just exhausted, that's all."

He returned to his room, leaving the 3rd seat standing in the hallway, a confused look on her face.

* * *

Author's note: I know, this time, I didn't reply to any reviews. I'm very sorry. I got busy. So busy that, I barely manage to finish the chapter in time(11:50pm for my timezone, GMT +8). I'm going to very very busy, since I'm taking my national examination this year. This examination is of high importance. Wait, that's off topic. Back to the main point, yes, so that means I'll be busy doing the ten year series thus less time for writing. Blame the ten year series... I think we shout just blame the one who invented the thing called, school and homework. Yupyup, I think I should stop all rambling. Hope you people will enjoy this chapter. I'll try to finish the chapter by Sunday every week. Hopefully. Lastly, reviews are good. wait... good is an understatement. Oh well. Cheers.


	9. Chapter 8

You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand. ~Irene C. Kassorla

* * *

8. Help

The new 5th seat walked to the training grounds, his scowl darker than usual. And yes, he had _that _same dream _again_…

The moment he opened the door, a dagger flew right past his cheek missing it by only a few inches.

"Oops?" The 4th seat commented, with his hands over his mouth.

"Mind if I ask, just what the hell are you doing?" The near-victim asked unhappily.

"I was just practicing knife throwing. It was the 11th Squad's 4th seat's zanpakutou if I remember correctly." Kurokou explained.

The victim gave him a dark glare, as if indicating that the excuse was not accepted.

"But you need to be glad that I actually risked my life to ask for help from the 3rd seat, you know? It's all for you. But frankly speaking, it really was a surprise when she agreed to it." Kurokou said.

"Yes, thank you, my wonderful trainer." The 5th seat said sarcastically, bowing.

A soft click of the door closing interrupted them. Kurokou turned around and was shocked to see the 3rd seat already standing next to him.

"H-Hanabusa-san." Kurokou nearly yelled out in shock.

"Mind you, it's 3rd seat Hanabusa. You're a seat lower." The girl replied, her green eyes cold.

"Ah! You've arrived. Let's start the training shall we?" Kurokou continued as if the girl hadn't replied at all.

Hitsugaya shook his head with a sigh.

_That's Kurokou for you._

* * *

The 3rd seat seemed to be inspecting him initially. Then she drew her sword and chanted, "Swirl from beyond, Akaruishinn."

Suddenly, a guy appeared, he was standing smiling then- and just as suddenly, he started to fall. His hands was reaching forward as if to grab something, his eyes filled with fear. Then-

"Are you alright?"

He blinked his eyes several times before finally noticing Kurokou standing in front of him, shaking him like mad.

"I'm alright, quit shaking me." He retorted at his trainer.

"Are you sure? You suddenly went blank, you know?" Kurokou asked, before finally letting the poor 5th seat go.

"_AI-CHAN!" _An extremely sharp voice erupted.

"What was that?" He asked.

"What was what?" His trainer cocked up an eyebrow.

"The scream." The white-haired boy answered, sounding extremely annoyed.

"There isn't any scream. Seriously, are you alright?" The trainer stepped forward as if going to shake him again.

"No, it's nothing." He shook his head dismissively. "I'm fine."

"Let's continue with our training." He ignored the disapproving look on Kurokou's face, turning to face the 3rd seat who had been standing aside quietly all the time, her released sword loosely held in her hands.

* * *

"Matsumoto-san. How is it?" Hinamori asked, her eyes still scanning the fruits on the store.

"How is what?"

"Oh, I mean being a taichou." She smiled and explained.

"Ah! It was actually quite… fun." Matsumoto replied after a few minutes of thinking.

"Is it? Is it … tiring?" Hinamori asked.

"No, but I think it's a bit… I don't know how I should say it. Lonely? Maybe." Matsumoto replied. " but it's much better if you have wonderful subordinates. Just like Kaida, but yeah, she's on sick leave today so…."

"Is it? Really…" Hinamori's voice faded off and she started staring at the ground.

"Is there something bothering you?" Matsumoto asked in concern, a little surprise at the sudden quietness of the girl's voice.

"It's just that, I never knew how Hitsugaya-kun felt like at all. He's so hard to read." The girl pouted unhappily.

Matsumoto smiled.

_Hinamori's back._

The younger girl looked up suddenly with a laugh, breaking the solemn mood. "The watermelons here are big! I think we should bring Hitsugaya-kun here next time."

"Yeah. We should. And we would force him to." Then the two of them started to laugh.

_It's just you now, taichou. When are you going to come back?_

_

* * *

Finally, it's over._

The 3rd seat sheathed her sword and walked off, leaving the training grounds without another word.

The 5th seat glanced at his trainer who shook his head in reply before walking off back to his own room.

_

* * *

It feels good after a shower._

He threw himself down on the futon.

_You are too afraid to sleep aren't you?_ A voice suddenly sounded in his head, and he felt himself being pulled into his mindscape.

_No, I'm not. _He retorted, his brows knitted.

_It's useless to deny, child. _The dragon pointed at the reflection of him on the ice at the beneath him, where he was hugging his knees tightly, his body trembling.

_You can't hide here. _

_I'm not afraid. It's just that the last time I had a nightmare was you coming into my dream. _Hitsugaya stated, tearing his eyes away from his reflection.

_Are you saying that seeing me in your dreams is a nightmare? _The dragon's wings started flapping.

_No, but anyone will be afraid if an unknown dragon suddenly appear and start calling you 'child', right?_

_But I don't think that's scary. _The dragon crossed his arms, appearing to be deep in thought.

_That's because you're a dragon… _He answered dryly.

_W-what? You- Nevermind. Back to the main topic, so what are you going to do? _

He shrugged. _What can I do? Humans need to sleep after all. _

_Then, all I can say is good luck. I'll try to wake you up if it happens again._

_Thanks. _The boy answered with a rare smile on his face.

* * *

Dear taichou,

How are you these days? I've brought Hinamori around Soul Society, just as you promised her. She's not quite satisfied, she still thinks that you shouldn't break your promise.

But yeah, she has recovered. I'm glad and I'm sure you are too. Today, Kaida's sick. She'll be on two days sick leave. I hope she recovers. When you come back, I'll introduce her to you. She's really helpful and… She helped me to stand up.

I hope there's someone there that's just like her. Helping you all along, helping you through your difficulties, and most importantly, believing in you.

_Taichou, you're going to come back and I know it._

* * *

Two figures entered the room, barely disturbing the silence with the soft tread of their feet. They glanced down at the sleeping figure who was tossing and turning uncomfortably in his futon, his hand grasping his chest.

"He will wake up soon." The brown haired girl stated.

"Let's wait for a little while more then." The black haired girl replied, never taking her eyes off the figure.

"_Kurotaki… _Help…" He whispered in his sleep.

* * *

Author's note: Oops, it's late _again..._ I apologize. The teachers are giving more and more testes and homework. I'm too sad to announce that I might _not_ be uploading any chapter. It's chinese new year! And erm... I'm going home. _Finally_. So there might not be any chapters. I'm also tired of being so busy with my homework, committee stuff, so on and so forth. So, yeah. I'm most likely taking a break before my mind breaks down on me. But I hope you guys enjoy this chapter through it might not be as good as you guys expected. Cheers.


	10. Chapter 9

"You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your **past**. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully." ~Anthony Robbin

* * *

9. Remembering

He felt his limbs hanging limply at the side and worse he was hurting all over. He peeped open his eyes.

_Where am I?_

A loud laughter echoed in the room.

Alarmed, he glanced down and saw the man's hand had somewhat dissolved into his chest.

"Well, my power…" The man wiped off the tears of laughter from his eyes with his other hand and then continued with a grin, "It's to be able to touch only whatever I wish to touch."

"For example, you heart." The man closed his fist closed his heart.

He gasped in shock.

"Mind if I crush it? Hmm… I wonder how long you could live without your heart?" The man asked curiously and tightened his hold on his heart.

The boy gritted his teeth, his hands tightened into a fist to stop himself from crying out.

"There goes." The man said with a smile and ripped out his heart.

He felt his vision burring. He blinked hard, trying to get a clear view but his vision kept darkening. He could see red, crimson red all around. He could see an unfocused figure holding something red.

He heard laughter echoing around him. He felt weak. He was hurting all over.

_I failed…_

"They are here, Atsuko fukutaichou." A cold voice sounded from the door. The man in front of him swung around, his eyes widen.

"How did… The defense squad, I should have known…" The man cursed as two girls approached him. One with copper brown hair and the other long black hair.

The girl with copper brown hair command, her voice clear but cold, "3rd seat Kurotaki Hika, please hand over Hitsugaya Toushirou. You have three seconds."

_Kurotaki…_

"What are you going to do to me?" The man taunted, his voice shrill. But after he finished, he found his robe torn, his left sleeve gone.

In shock, he glanced up and found the two defense department members still in their original position, the only different being that his missing left sleeve was lying on the floor next the black haired fukutaichou.

Screaming, he unsheathed his sword and charged at the fukutaichou. But right when he about to reach the fukutaichou who still stood, unmoving, a flash of light beamed partially blinding him which was followed by a loud clash of metal hitting against metal. The light faded and revealed the serious face of the copper haired 3rd seat. They stood still with their sword crossed.

_You weakling._ Her cold green eyes seem to say.

"Strike…"

He tensed, he tried to open his mouth to warn the 3rd seat what Kurotaki's powers were. He wanted to tell her to escape but only to find nothing coming out of his mouth.

_Don't…_

A voice interrupted the man's incantation, "Shini no ban."

He saw the two sword clashed.

_His zanpakutou is…_

The 3rd seat's eyes lit up, a red reiatsu wrapped around her sword then Kurotaki with his eyes empty, collapsed.

A shadow blocked his view then a face appeared in front of him, a gentle smile on the figure's face.

"Stay still for now."

With one stroke she sliced off the bind. Then he felt himself sliding down to the floor without the support of the two binds.

The girl laid him on his back. Then he felt a warm, comforting light on his chest.

"Rima, you shouldn't have used it against a mere weakling like him." The girl next to him spoke.

"But fukutaichou, it's the fastest way to stop him and plus, I feel like making him suffer a while. You can use your power on the two of them later on anyway." The brown haired girl protested.

"I really don't know how you're going to survive without me around. And please stop calling me fukutaichou. Atsuko-sama, Atsuko-san, Haruka even, anything will do. Just not fukutaichou! You know how much I hate it." His healer complained.

"But, fukutaichou!"

"You did it again!"

With a quiet voice the 3rd seat continued, "Are you doing it, fukutaichou?"

"Yes, no one should know your power."

"What about the 3rd seat?"

"Just leave him there." The fukutaichou answered.

"He'll die."

"I know."

"The taichou and fukutaichou will question."

"Fine. Use your other power on him. We'll make it look like you have subdued him with the other power." The fuktuichou answered impatiently.

"Hai, fukutaichou."

"You did it _again…_ And I told you that you shouldn't have used it on him."

The 3rd seat stuck her tougue out at her fukutaichou before turning to the crumpled body of Kurotaki and released her zanpakutou. "Swirl from beyond, break from within. Toumeina Kokoro, Shini no ban"

With a sweet smile the 3rd seat kneeled down on the floor, the tip of her zanpakutou's blade touching Kurotaki's back, the ribbon turned red.

Kurotaki woke up and sat on the floor blinking his eyes, trying to sense the surrounding.

Still healing him, his healer called, "Rima, just finish him off."

"Hai." The other girl raised her sword, the ribbon turned blue and a gush of water rushed out of the tip hitting Hika's face full force. Instead of splattering on the ground like what physics dictated, the water stayed in place, right in front of Hika's face, preventing him from breathing. After a minute of struggling, trying to get the water off his face, Hika fainted.

* * *

A click of the door and a voice boomed, "So you found them."

The brown haired girl appeared next to her fukutaichou and kept quiet.

"Hai, taichou." The fukutaichou replied still healing the victim.

"Come in Sakihara." The taichou ordered. The fukutaichou immediately appeared at his side.

* * *

The boy's eyes snapped open and pushed himself into a sitting position while gapsing for breath. His hands clutching his chest to assure him of his heart.

"You finally woke up." A voice sounded from beside him.

_Hanabusa…_

He turned around to face the two visitor, his eyes still wide open.

"Did you remember all of it, Hitsugaya Toushirou?" Another voice, a colder one.

"H-Hai…"

_Hitsu… Hitsugaya Toushirou? Right, that was my name…_

"Tell no one about it." The 3rd seat continued.

"Hai." He answered, finally calmed down.

Hanabusa then handed him a piece of paper and told him, "Keep it with you."

He opened the paper.

_A familiar handwriting… Matsu…moto_

* * *

Dear Hitsugaya Toushirou,

_Hitsu… Hitsugaya Toushirou? Right… That's my name…_

Haha, I can finally call you by that name. Yay. I think you'll leave without telling me so I passed it to Ichigo to pass it to you when you leave. I hope this would remind you of us. I really hope so. I just wanted to bid farewell to you because I know I wouldn't able to say it on the day itself. I know I won't so I'll say it here, Goodbye taichou. And I want you to know, I'll be waiting for you. No matter how long you take. (:

_ps. Taichou, come back soon._

A tear slipped down his cheek.

* * *

After a moment of silence, Hitsugaya spoke quietly, "Thank you."

The two defense member turned their heels and walked to the door. Suddenly, the fukutaichou stopped, "I believe you would want to know, Kurotaki is manipulated."

Then the two left without another word.

* * *

Author's note: SORRY! I apologize for the long wait. A long range of events came crashing into my supposedly organized schedule, rendering the time for writing fanfic as NIL. It's only now which is a term break I'm finally free from the clutches of em... So please please forgive me!


	11. Chapter 10

Author's note: ANDDDDDD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (drumrolls) I'M BACKKKKKKKKK. This is more like a summary to the whole story(Squad 0 + By your side). Partly because, I was out of idea. (Note the word 'was'), I needed to clear my mind. ANDDDD YESSSSSS, I'M NO LONGER OUT OF IDEASSSSSS! So as I've mentioned, this is more like a summary but through this summary(a little boring, my apologies) Hitsugaya was able to find some interesting insights. (: Read on to find out. I assure you the next chapter will be more interesting. I'll try to upload it by this week, and I'm happy to say that I'm quite confident that I'll be able to do so.

* * *

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. ~James Matthew Barrie

* * *

10. Summing all up

Hitsugaya laid back on his bed, his eyes closed, trying to fall asleep. When he finally decided all the effort was futile, he sat up and drew up his knees, pressing it against his chest.

_Hmm… What're you going to do, Master?_

_Revise what happened maybe?_

_That's a good idea. _The dragon nodded in agreement.

_So, first… When I first entered Squad 0, Kurotaki Hika was the one who led me into the… say Royal Ground? Then there was the introduction where I was 'saved' by Narumi Ai who actually in reality made the matter worse. And the farewell present was taken away… Then I was bundled off to train with Hokura Kurokou. That was when I learnt Hokura's zanpakutou ability which was able to imitate any zanpakutou, with their power even. _Hitsugaya paused as he tried to remember something he forgot.

_Oh… I remembered, he said something able unable to imitate four types of zanpakutou but only told me 3. _He added drily.

_That's also when you learnt about the defense Squad. _Hyourinmaru supplied.

_And learnt about their… what's the word for it?_

_Special entry?_

_Hmm… that will do. _

_And maybe… _Hyourinmaru paused.

_Yes? _ Hitsugaya inquired.

_Maybe, the 4__th__ type of zanpakutou that Hokura Kurokou was unable to imitate has something to do with the Defense Squad member's zanpakutou…_

_There's a high possibility in it. _Hitsugaya nodded in agreement. Then Hitsugaya continued, _Moving on. So after a few days of training, I… we met Kurotaki Hika… Who then told me to take care of Narumi Ai. Then…_

Hitsugaya stopped and gave a huge sigh.

The dragon took over. _Then, came the nightmare where you found yourself waking up in a demolished common room. You were accused of vandalizing… A court was to be held the second day…_

_And then current 3__rd__ seat Narumi Ai was attacked and was found unconscious. Then we, both Hokura Kurokou and I went and visited her. And that was when I started doubting Kurotaki Hika… _Hitsugaya paused, unable to continue.

_That night, you got kidnapped and hmm… tortured. _

Hitsugaya wined at the word. It feels like getting a slap in the face for some reasons.

_Then I was rescued by… Atsuko Haruka fukutaichou and 3__rd__ seat Hanabusa Rima. Something happened to Kurotaki Hika… Something about the 3__rd__ seat's power… But it seems like no matter how I wonder, I still can't grasp what the 3__rd__ seat's power is… A power that could get her into Squad 0 before bankai was obtained… And there's still Atsuko Haruka fukutaichou's power…_

_When you woke up the next time, you've lost some of your memorizes, especially your past memorizes regarding the time when you are in the 13__th__ gotei protective Squad._

_Yeah, it's one of the requirements to do duty I'm told. _

_Then you started your duty with 3__rd__ seat Hanabusa Rima. And had a reunion with Matsumoto._

Hitsugaya cursed.

_Hokura Kurokou's training resumed, with Narumi Ai as assistance. That was the time you learnt about why the training was nessesary._

_Right… It's due to my not reacting reiatsu… and my immature bankai. 4__th__ seat Hokura Kurokou said that my bankai should be matured then and my reiatsu should 'buck up'._

_Hmm… _The dragon growled before adding, _you got your half day duty then. And found the letters._

_Do you absolutely __**have to **__add the 'letters' in? _Hitsugaya thought unhappily.

Dragon chuckled at his wielder's response and continued, _After that was the incident of Matsumoto and Hinamori. Lucky Atsuko fukutaichou was there to stop you from… interfering…_

_Yeah. All thanks to her. And I believe it's either her or 3__rd__ seat Hanabusa Rima who delivered the letter. The letter Matsumoto wrote to me…_

_The training with Narumi Ai resumed, but no luck. Then the nightmare started around then too. 3__rd__ seat Hanabusa Rima was then in charge of training you. _Hyourinmaru stated.

_Yeah. That night I found… I mean tonight I… regained some of my memorizes… And… _He paused.

_Something wrong?_

_Yeah… I distinctly remember that 3__rd__ seat Hanabusa Rima's zanpakutou was a water type called… _Akaruishinn…

_And so… _The dragon gestured for him to continue.

_But during the day when she rescued me… She called another name… And the chant was different too._

The dragon nodded his head and added, _The fukutaichou… ahh, Atsuko fukutaichou also said something about the power should not be known and… cleared your memory?_

_So, Atsuko fukutaichou's zanpakutou power is… something about memory? _Hitsugaya spoke as realization hit him.

_That explains why she was immediately taken into Squad 0. It's indeed very useful to Squad 0… But what about Hanabusa?_

_Is it possible that she had two powers in her zanpakutou? _Hitsugaya directed the question to his zanpakutou.

_No exactly… but some zanpakutou power have a mixture of both element and kidou type. Normally, for a zanpakutou power that have a mixture of element and kidou, one of the types will be slightly weaker or very very weak. But however there are cases where, both types are strong… And if both are strong enough, it may be separated into two. _Hyourinmaru explained.

_I see… So there is a high possibility that the reason why she was accepted into Squad 0 right after graduation was due to that other power that she hides from normal members. The power may also be the power that was able to subdue Kurotaki Hika._

_The explanation is very reasonable. _The dragon complimented.

_Ah, and I need to remember that Kurotaki Hika was manipulated… too. What does she mean by manipulated._

_There's a long range of explaination to that. _The dragon replied.

_And master… I believe that you should get some sleep now. You still have training tomorrow regardless of how many things have happened._

Hitsugaya mumbled something inaudible but laid back down onto his futon nonetheless.

"_Maybe, I'll ask Hanabusa tomorrow. Just maybe." _Hitsugaya muttered to himself.


	12. Chapter 11

It's up as promised. (: ENJOY, there's a lot going on in this chapter... (frankly speaking, im... erm... rather confused.) but try to understand if you don't...

ps, sorry for the numerous alerts of this story tt you might have received. It was only when I've posted the chapter only and with the reminder of Kaiser then I've realised the chapter was full of errors. Apparently my fever's having a heavier influence on my writing than what I've noticed before, My apologizes.

* * *

Every single moment is a coincidence. ~ **Doug Coupland**

* * *

11. Truth exposed?

"4th seat Kurokou." Hitsugaya greeted as he entered the training grounds.

"Hey, 5th seat. You seem to be in a good mood. A really good one." The trainer stated, glancing at his trainee.

"Get ready for your training, she'll be here soon. And I believe that she hates waiting." Kurokou added with a bright smile.

Hitsugaya turned around just in time to see the door open and the Defense 3rd seat stepped in.

"Ah, Rima's here!"

Hitsugaya was quite sure that he saw the fukutaichou's brow twitched in response.

"It's 3rd seat Hanabusa." The defense 3rd seat corrected coldly.

"Since Rima's here, we'll start immediately. 5th seat please." Kurokou gestured for Hitsugaya to start.

* * *

_I wonder what her other power is…_

_Master, I think you should concentrate._

Hitsugaya blinked before narrowly avoiding a flying shot of water flange at him.

"I would advise you to focus, if you prefer your body cells functional." The 3rd seat warned as she swung her sliver-coloured sword, sending another wave of water.

"You body cell functional?" Hitsugaya couldn't help but question.

"If your body cell takes in too much water, it bursts." The 3rd seat answered simply and stepped backwards.

Hitsugaya landed on the ground and was about to advance forward towards the retreating 3rd seat when a wall of water shot up from the ground and surrounded him in a circle.

"I would advice you to not touch the water." The 3rd seat warned from outside of the enclosed area Hitsugaya was standing on.

Hitsugaya tried to find ways to get around of the wall of water but the instant when the wall of water started closing in, Hitsugaya gave up and abruptly shouted, "Sit upon the frozen heaven, Hyourinmaru."

The wall of water was immediately solidified into ice. With a swing of sword, he shattered the wall of ice. But before he could decide to do anything, he felt the touch of the cold metal tip of a sword pressed against his back. Then a soft voice rang behind him, "You'll be dead by now."

Hitsugaya turned around to face his attacker just as his attacker leapt backwards in one stride.

* * *

"Akiha, call Atsuko in." The taichou waved his hand, dismissing his fukutaichou, the offense fukutaichou.

"Hai." Sakihara nodded and left.

* * *

"Toushirou-kun, it's time." Kurokou shouted.

After the swift departure of the 3rd seat, Hitsugaya threw himself onto the ground and panted.

_She left a little too quickly. _Hitsugaya grumbled unhappily.

_Maybe she's avoiding... you._

_Maybe..._

"Ehh, you were killed at least 5 times today." Kurokou stated with a large smile breaking his train of thought.

"Shut up." Hitsugaya glared at his trainer who was by then laughing out loud.

"Say, 4th seat Kurokou, is there a place in here that feels like a forest or maybe a garden." Hitsugaya asked suddenly.

"Funny that you would asked. Yes, as a matter a fact, there is. But few people goes there I don't know why. You walk down the corridor and you would find a door with sliver handle. Just go in, you'll find the garden." Kurokou instructed.

"I see."

_I see, the training didn't achieve what he wanted too. _The dragon added.

_Yeah, that too._

* * *

"Hosaka taichou, you called?" Atsuko flipped her long black hair back and glared at the taichou.

She disliked the taichou, really. She disliked him to the extent of mere hatred.

* * *

Hitsugaya reached the door and pushed it open.

A gush of fresh air was blown from inside. Trees were everywhere and bushes with all types of colours too. There's even a river flowing in the middle of the garden. The sound of water flowing, the melody of birds singing and the fragrant smell of flowers.

_It's really beautiful here. _The dragon stated with a hint of smile.

_Yeah, it is. _Hitsugaya smiled.

* * *

Hosaka taichou finally decided to close his file and looked up at the visitor.

_It's good to be in control. _He thought before ordering in a stern voice.

"You can ask your subordinate…"

"She has a name." Atsuko fukutaichou growled cutting off the taichou in mid-sentense, her voice icy cold.

* * *

He walked towards the river and realized that someone's already here. The figure was perched at the river bank, her arms wrapped around her knees.

"3rd seat Hanabusa." Hitsugaya greeted trying his best to not betray any element of surprise.

"I wish to be left alone at this moment." Was the 3rd seat's reply.

Hitsugaya glanced around, trying to find where the Defense fukutaichou was. It's after all almost impossible to find the two separated.

"I would advise you to stop searching for Atsuko fukutaichou, she's not around." The 3rd seat answered almost immediately.

Hitsugaya blinked before sitting down on the grass. He tried his best to concentrate on enjoying the scenery but he couldn't help but kept glancing at the huddled 3rd seat. Something kept catching his attention but he wasn't sure what it was.

_Maybe I should ask her about her zanpakutou powers._

"3rd seat Hanabusa." Hitsugaya called.

"What do you want?" The girl asked coldly.

"I somehow believed that something terrible happened to both you and Atsuko fukutaichou."Hitsugaya stated having totally no idea why he did so.

The girl didn't reply.

"During the Kurotaki Hika incident, I could see that you two weren't as cold as you displayed to others. It means you two weren't originally cold. But why? Why are the two of you acting so unfriendly towards others?"

There was moment of silence before the 3rd seat answered, "Atsuko fukutaichou is cold because she have to. And if Atsuko fukutaichou isn't laughing… I'm not going to either."

Hitsugaya blinked, _Because she have to?_

The 3rd seat started to rock herself back and forward.

Then in a barely audible whisper, she muttered more to herself then to Hitsugaya, "Fukutaichou's like this because of me."

At that instant, Hitsugaya really had no idea what so ever what to do or even what to reply.

_Fukutaichou's like this became of me…_

* * *

The taichou took a deep breath and said trying his best to not get annoyed, "Ask her…"

"Her name is Hanabusa Rima." She reminded, her voice ice cold.

"Ask Rim-"

"Hanabusa."

_You filthy brat is unfit to call her first name._

"Right, Hanabusa." Hosaka murmured, his temper flaring.

"Tell Hanabusa to stop her double role. She can stop acting like _Kaida of 10__th__ Squad_."

* * *

"I'm sorry…" Hitsugaya murmured, feeling extremely uncomfortable and guilty at the same time.

"Erm… Where's Kurotaki (Hika)?" Hitsugaya tried to change the topic.

"Killed." The 3rd seat answered almost immediately.

"What..." Hitsugaya paused to regain himself from the shock of such honest and immediate reply before he finally asked, "What do you mean?"

"Atsuko fukutaichou wiped off his existence from all Offense squad member's memory."

_W-WHAT?_

* * *

"And how do you propose it to be done?" Atsuko stared at the taichou.

"Just wipe out her existence from the 10th Squad or anyone that knew her in Soul Society."

"I will not be able to completely wipe off Matsumoto taichou's memory regarding _Kaida _in one strike."Atsuko asked cautiously.

* * *

"5Th SEATTTT!" A high pitch voice shouted destroying the peace in the garden.

_Narumi Ai?_

* * *

"Then so be it." The taichou replied without hesitation.

"This may annihilate Matsumoto taichou."

"Don't you DARE TO DEFY OR QUESTION MY ORDERS."

Atsuko glared at the taichou. For the first time, she allowed her gaze to be laced with both dark hatred and burning anger, the feelings that she had always harbor for the person right before her eyes.

* * *

Hitsugaya turned around to confirm his suspicion.

"3rd seat Narumi?"

"You have a curse on you." A whisper sounded behind him.

He gasped and turned around but the 3rd seat was already gone.

"5th seat! I heard from Kurokou that you're here." Narumi beamed when she found the child prodigy.

_You have a curse on you…_

"5th SEAT! ARE YOU LISTENING!" Narumi waved her hand in front of Hitsugaya.

"I am, 3rd seat Narumi." Hitsugaya growled unhappily.

_You have a curse on you… W-what?_

* * *

_Author's note: Do leave a comment. And I wanted to apologize to my long absence... I've been very busy lately since my o level's coming up. I'm sorry to all the readers out there. But of course I'll try to find time to write. really! I promise!_


	13. Chapter 12

Many things happened… I don't think that justifies my long absence…. But still… Hope you enjoy if you are still following.

* * *

12. The consequences

"Shirou-pyon!" A high pitched voice echoed in the room.

"Yes? 3rd seat Narumi?" Hitsugaya answered with a huge scowl. It is a wonder that his eardrums have yet to explode.

"You are so distracted… What's with you these days?" Narumi pouted very unhappily.

"Nothing." Hitsugaya replied half-heartedly.

"You did it again… You weren't really listening…" Narumi started to complain.

Hitsugaya ignored her and concentrated on his own thoughts. He is deeply troubled.

_A curse? I have a curse on me? Who? Why? When?_

* * *

"Kaida~" Matsumoto slide open the door leading to the administrative room.

"Kaida?" She repeated with much concern in her voice.

"Kaida! Where _are _you?" She searched the whole room before bursting out of the office.

_Where did she go? She'll always wait for me here. Please don't let anything happen to her… please…_

* * *

"you and Rima-chan… talking…?" A sad voice interrupted Hitsugaya's thoughts.

"What?"

"You weren't listening at all…" Narumi answered, this time with a very sad look on her face.

"I know I'm annoying and childish… I know I'm not as good as Rima-chan… I know… Maybe that's why Shirou-kun doesn't want to talk to me… Because I'm not as good as Rima-chan…" With that Narumi started to cry.

Hitsugaya looked at her in total shock.

_Okay… What am I supposed to do? Hyourinmaru… help?_

_Master, I think you should start with comforting her… _Came the reply.

With totally no idea what to say, Hitsugaya started, "4th seat Narumi, it's not like that…"

"Then what is it? I know you like Rima-chan! I know! You don't have to deny!" With that Narumi sobbed even harder.

"No… It's not like that… It's…" Hitsugaya stammered.  
_Hyourinmaru! It's __**NOT**__ working!_

_I'm out of ideas… I don't know how to deal with humans…. I'm a dragon after all. _

_Right…_

"3rd seat Narumi, could you please listen to me?" Hitsugaya asked in what he thought was the most gentle and warm voice. Narumi looked up with her eyes red and puffy.

"I've…" Hitsugaya trailed off, no knowing how to solve this.

"It's just… I've been having a hard time settling in here." He finished praying hard that it will work.

"Shirou-pyon can't settle down?" Narumi asked innocently.

"Yes and I'm quite upset about it which is why I'm quite distracted. I'm sorry 3rd seat Narumi. Regardless, it's still wrong for me to show you this kind of attitude." Hitsugaya apologized with a 90 degree bow.

"Why didn't you say so earlier? Shirou-pyon… I'm sorry too…" Narumi answered with her cheeks burning red.

"It's okay. Don't fret over it." Hitsugaya asked with a huge sigh.

_At least it's settled._

"Shirou-pyon! Let's go have dinner, I'm hungry!"

She laughed and dragged Histugaya along.

_Here goes… *sigh*_

* * *

"Have you seen Kaida?" Matsumoto asked the group of 10th division squad members whom she came across.

"Who's Kaida?" One of the members asked.

"You know, a girl of around this height?" Motioning to her shoulder.

"She has copper brown hair which she always ties it into a ponytail? She's a new recruit! Ah, aren't you guys recruits as well. She came in the same time as you guys. Do you know where she is?"

"Sorry… But there's only 5 in our batch of recruits… And all 5 of us are here…" The member answered softly, not wanting to sound rude to her taichou.

"Nonono! She was here. She's a recruit! I'm very sure!" Matsumoto unconsciously raised her voice.

"Hey hey! What's the matter here?" The 3rd seat of the 10th division came in.

Matsumoto grabbed her 3rd seat's collar and replied, her voice trembling. "It's Kaida! I can't find her anywhere."

"Who's Kaida?" Her 3rd seat asked, confused.

_What in the world is going on? _Matsumoto screamed in her mind.

* * *

Author's note: I realised that I've really lost my touch on writing... Sorry guys...


	14. Chapter 13

13. The lost

"Matsumoto-san, do calm down." Unohana asked or more like ordered in a very polite and gentle manner. Matsumoto had in fact panicked and ran all around Soul Society looking for her beloved subordinate and ignoring whoever she came across. She disregarded everyone and threw everyone in to such a mess that Unohana, the 4th Squad taichou had no choice but to handle this matter with her own hands.

"Kaida! Kaida is real! I didn't imagine it… I really didn't. And she's missing! Unohana-san, how am I supposed to calm down when one of my subordinate is _missing_?" Matsumoto wailed with tears streaming down her cheek.

"Now. Now, Matsumoto-san. I think it's best that you go back and rest. Even if she really _is _missing, you can't expect yourself to find her in this state of you, can you? Plus I believe Kaida wouldn't want you to be in this state. Maybe she's just off somewhere doing something trivial?" Unohana answered, giving Matsumoto a pat on the head.

Matsumoto somehow managed to come back to her sense, answered, "Yes, Unohana-san. I'll return to my quarters to rest. Sorry for the trouble."

Perhaps she was really just paranoid. Perhaps it's just a misunderstanding. At least that's what she convinced herself.

Unohana glanced at the shadow of the 10th Squad taichou as she disappeared from her vision.

_Hitsugaya Toushirou, you really are something… First Hinamori-san and now Matsumoto-san… _The 4th Squad taichou gave a huge sigh before walking back to her own barrack.

* * *

_What curse… When? Sigh… I think I will have to confront 3__rd__ seat Hanabusa __**again**__… _

Hitsugaya scowled in much frustration as he lay down onto his futon. He has tried to ask 3rd seat Narumi about curses that exist. Of course, not without a scolding from said person for inquiring on such dark things, 3rd seat Narumi has named out all the curses she knew. However, Hitsugaya has experienced none of the symptoms of the curses mentioned, forcing Hitsugaya to rule out them.

_Master, have you considered the possibility that she doesn't want to tell you._

_Yes, but what can I do about it? It's not a trivial matter that I can just throw out of my mind. 3__rd__ seat Hanabusa is far too mature and intelligent to be pranking me about this. When she says something it __**must**__ be important._

Suddenly, Hitsugaya froze in his twisting and turning in his futon.

His voice laced with suppressed horror as realization hits him.

_Hyourinmaru…_

_Yes Master. I understand now, the gravity of the situation… This is indeed very worrying. No one, not even yourself have notice that you have a curse on you. In addition to that 3__rd__ seat Narumi who's more knowledgeable than most does not even know the curse…. It means… the wielder is much much stronger than you are and much stronger than she is. It is only possible…_

_Yes, Hyourinmaru… It is only possible that it is placed by one of the higher seated members in Squad 0._

_In addition to that… Master, do you remember what Atsuko fukutaichou said the night she came to visit you?_

_Yes… _Hitsugaya cursed under his breath.

The fukutaichou had mentioned before leaving , "I believe you would want to know, Kurotaki is manipulated."

_Kurotaki is manipulated… Hyourinmaru… I'm targeted aren't I? _Hitsugaya asked softly. His tone despite being calm and quiet brought about a sense of dread and hopelessness.

_Unfortunately, yes Master. It seems like the case. _

_When is this ever going to end? I'm… I'm really tired already. _

He starred out of his window, his gaze distant, filled with sorrow.

* * *

Matsumoto was in her room curved up into a ball. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, her shoulders shaking.

"Gone... Gone… Why? Why does everyone leave me behind?" She whispered in despair.

Despite the contradiction of what she thinks and what the people around her thinks, she held on to her belief. Kaida existed. Deep in her heart, she knows it's true. But that was not her concern. What devastated her was that… Kaida… she… she too… has left her behind.

"Gone… Gone… GONE!" She screamed and banged her head against the wall hard.

Clutching her swollen head and crumpling to the ground she started sobbing quietly.

Then she heard this voice. A warm and soothing voice.

"Matsumoto… Rangiku~"

Her crying crease, as she drank in the voice. A feeling of warmth and peace seems to flow into her heart.

"Matsumoto Rangiku~ Everything, everything is alright~"

"Everything… is okay?" She repeated with some hesitant.

"Yes, Matsumoto Rangiku. Everything is alright." The voice replied gently. It sounded like Ukitake taichou but yet it doesn't.

"Everything is really okay?" Matsumoto questioned but her doubt was diminishing.

"Yes. Everything is okay. Sleep child. Sleep." The voice answered.

Everything around her was quiet and peaceful. She felt… great. Oddly.

"Okay." She answered obediently, a wave of exhaustion suddenly overwhelmed.

She slowly closed her eyes.

A smile crept across her face.

She slept peacefully.

* * *

"That bastard…" A low growl sounded in the room as a certain fukutaichou received her report.

"Fukutaichou…" Her 3rd seat glanced at her fukutaichou with much concern.

"That is… utterly… immoral…" She continued, her eyes filled with deep hatred.

"Fukutaichou, perhaps it's for the best… Matsumoto taichou really did need it… I guess." The 3rd seat answered softly, feeling a pang of guilt.

"Rima-chan… Have any idea why he did?"

"N-no, b-"

"Rima-chan, he has no sympathy or empathy regarding human. He only cares about himself. He threw you into that project… that-that mess was because he just felt like it. He can't be bothered about the consequences. The reason why he asked Sakihara that idiot to participate in his so-called project was because he can't be bothered to clean up his own mess. Had Sakihara's power not been able to clean up the mess, he would just leave it be. He is **that **kind of person." The fukutaichou finished with pure hatred evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry fukutaichou… I didn't know…" Hanabusa started, her voice trailing off.

Atsuko fukutaichou turned to her subordinate and patted her head lightly. "Rima, it's okay. It's really okay. I wasn't myself then. I'm sorry too."

"Come on Rima. We have work to do." The fukutaichou returned to her old cold and calm self.

"Hai, fukutaichou." Her subordinate looked up, smiling. Her usual cheerfulness is back. That's good.

"I've told you not to call me fukutaichou!"

To that her subordinate just struck out her tougue before disappearing out of the door.

The fukutaichou sighed, not of despair or sorrow but of relief.

_At least you are still here with me, still safe. At least you are still innocent and pure._

A rare smile appeared on her face.

* * *

Author's note: I have a confession to make. I have totally forgotten my original plot(In fact I think I've deviated from it...) and I've lost all the notes for this story. What I'm writing is pure divine inspiration and how I'm still writing is purely divine intervention. I'm just going by the flow, writing whatever that comes to mind, with constant seeking of help from God. I can't assure good quality or even quantity. More often than not, I'm writing purely based on my feelings then and there and also daily occurrences in my life or others.I'm writing to de-stress as well as to express my suppressed feelings that I don't even understand. Please forgive me. God bless.


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